I can hear the sound of squeaking wheels getting closer and closer, the pungent smell of disinfectant fills my nostrils. I look around and see the familiar surroundings of the Ivy Suite. For a few hours every Thursday this has been my home. The nurses know me by well and they have eventually learned to pronounce my surname correctly!
The nurse always starts off by taking my blood pressure and checking the oxygen levels in my blood. Once that is out the way she palpates the port to see exactly where it is located.
The next step is to needle the port. Throughout my chemo treatments I did not want to look at this needle and today we took a photo of it so that I could see what it looked like. Now that I see it I realise how long it actually it - quite scary!
Thankfully needling the port is not too painful and I am sure that is partly due to the anesthetic cream as well as the excellent skills of the nurse. Once the needle is in, I can relax.
The nurse gives me an antihistamine tablet which will prevent me from having an allergic reaction to the chemo. Then the nurse begins by slowly pushing aloxi through the central line. Aloxi is given to prevent nausea and vomiting. The reason the nurse pushes this through slowly is because if given too quickly it literally feels like you have ants crawling in your pants! The nurse then prepares the saline drip which runs for about five minutes.
As Johny and I are waiting and chatting, in walk some very special people for a surprise visit.
The nurse gives me an antihistamine tablet which will prevent me from having an allergic reaction to the chemo. Then the nurse begins by slowly pushing aloxi through the central line. Aloxi is given to prevent nausea and vomiting. The reason the nurse pushes this through slowly is because if given too quickly it literally feels like you have ants crawling in your pants! The nurse then prepares the saline drip which runs for about five minutes.
As Johny and I are waiting and chatting, in walk some very special people for a surprise visit.
The nurse returns and prepares the final chemo.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by my beautiful family - I could not have done this without their love and support.
After a short visit they all leave and Johny and I remain and wait for my chemo treatment to finish.
Johny has come to every one of my chemo treatments, he has been my rock and on the days that I was feeling down he would always cheer me up. We would have our "weekly dates" at the hospital and because of him the time passed so quickly. I am so thankful to him for his love and constant support through this arduous and tumultuous journey. His love and tremendous sense of humour have kept me buoyant and motivated.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by my beautiful family - I could not have done this without their love and support.
After a short visit they all leave and Johny and I remain and wait for my chemo treatment to finish.
Johny has come to every one of my chemo treatments, he has been my rock and on the days that I was feeling down he would always cheer me up. We would have our "weekly dates" at the hospital and because of him the time passed so quickly. I am so thankful to him for his love and constant support through this arduous and tumultuous journey. His love and tremendous sense of humour have kept me buoyant and motivated.
This is the last time I will have to feel like this. It's hard to think past this chemo funk, hard to imagine a life beyond cancer when you are caught in its grip.
For six months I've lived this, constantly been at war and it's hard to imagine not feeling like this.
You often hear people saying "he won his battle with cancer" and I couldn't fathom why it was a battle. Now I have a better understanding, but for me the battle has been against chemo and fighting each week to feel normal. With the weekly treatments I only really got one day where I would feel remotely normal and then have another round of chemo and the process repeats itself.
Fortunately the strong chemo was done at the beginning and the second round of treatment has been a lot gentler on me. To give you an idea of what it was like. Imagine, for the first three months, washing your skin with hydrochloric acid. Then for the second three months washing your skin, which hasn't quite healed with steel wool. Like I said a lot gentler!
I look around the Ivy Suite and see so many familiar faces. I recognise the patients from my numerous visits here. I am grateful that today is my last chemo and I am so thankful that I did not have any major complications or set backs. Although the sixteen treatments were hard, extremely hard I always knew I had the stamina to get through it.
I also know that if the doctor had said I needed thirty treatments I would have set my mind to it and done the thirty treatments.
I hear the beeping of the chemo pump and it is music to my ears. The final bell has rung! Chemo is officially over. Sixteen rounds done and dusted.
For six months I've lived this, constantly been at war and it's hard to imagine not feeling like this.
You often hear people saying "he won his battle with cancer" and I couldn't fathom why it was a battle. Now I have a better understanding, but for me the battle has been against chemo and fighting each week to feel normal. With the weekly treatments I only really got one day where I would feel remotely normal and then have another round of chemo and the process repeats itself.
Fortunately the strong chemo was done at the beginning and the second round of treatment has been a lot gentler on me. To give you an idea of what it was like. Imagine, for the first three months, washing your skin with hydrochloric acid. Then for the second three months washing your skin, which hasn't quite healed with steel wool. Like I said a lot gentler!
I look around the Ivy Suite and see so many familiar faces. I recognise the patients from my numerous visits here. I am grateful that today is my last chemo and I am so thankful that I did not have any major complications or set backs. Although the sixteen treatments were hard, extremely hard I always knew I had the stamina to get through it.
I also know that if the doctor had said I needed thirty treatments I would have set my mind to it and done the thirty treatments.
I hear the beeping of the chemo pump and it is music to my ears. The final bell has rung! Chemo is officially over. Sixteen rounds done and dusted.
Now that the final bell has rung - sixteen rounds all in all! I find myself thinking "it's not how hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit!" In the past six months I have stood round after mind shattering round and taken the chemo abuse and I'm still standing. A little worse for wear but definitely still standing!
When we returned home there was another surprise waiting for me. I walked into the house to find the table beautifully decorated by my loving husband and then all my family and friends surprised me for a celebratory dinner.